Content Warning: Small allusion to death and the desire to die.
I’m always leaving you guys in the middle of something, huh? Maybe this is a reflection of the fact that I tend to leave projects in the middle of getting them done. Or maybe it’s a reminder that sometimes, unexpected breaks are a blessing in disguise. I don’t want to check how long I went silent on my blog for while l’ve been gallavanting off on my other social media accounts. (Here’s my messy twitter, blog instagram, and personal instagram if you want to take a peak.).
Sometimes your mind knows when you should be on vacation. My mind decided to take a very, very long vacation. I think I needed that time away from the blog to think about where this blog is going. This blog was made as a way to find other like-minded individuals. It was easier to create than a YouTube channel since you can write, edit, and post in a few hours compared to how long it takes to create a video. I think maybe creating a YouTube channel might’ve gotten me more people to actively speak to, but I like the way that my blog is still considered small and intimate. You don’t have to share everything like people on YouTube seem compelled to do or have to deal with fans who think they’re entitled to your life. Which is a relief for someone like me who tends to disappear on here. I did try my hand on making YouTube videos for a while, but I think I wasn’t ready for the intensive research on how to edit. Maybe I’ll resurrect it?
I like to think I’ve grown during my absence, but who really knows? I travelled to the Philippines over the summer, if you haven’t seen my Instagram posts or blog posts, and was reminded again of how different my life would’ve been if my family didn’t decided to immigrate to the USA. Would it better if I had stayed in the Philippines? Who knows, but I do know that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to be close to certain family members who had already immigrated to the USA. I think that speaks for itself how much I value the way my life has turned out.
And look how far I’ve come. I didn’t think I’d live past eighteen, but here I am twenty-three and still kicking. I may not know where I’m going with my life, but I’m glad I’m here to figure it out. I have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head so let’s see where they’re going to take me. I want to reach out more to people. I want to learn languages. I want to start and finish projects. But let’s take each day one step at a time. It’s time to start settling down and living my life.
