Hey guys! 

December is the month to reflect on what happened in your life. There will be fond memories, bad choices, but what is important is that you’ve learned and grown from those experiences. 

This time last year I was in a serious relationship where I thought that he was the one. Yes, I was only seventeen, but remember when you were seventeen? I bet you’ve done some pretty stupid or wild things at that age. He made me so happy and I was so in love with him. It was one of the most intense kind of love, where you adored the other person. Not just loving them, but wanting them to be happy and to be the best that they can be. I always tried to encourage and help him with his problems since he was a private person.

But looking back, he wasn’t the person I thought he was. He didn’t love me with the intensity that I loved him with. He didn’t try to help me be the best that I can be, instead he tried to cut me off from my friends and manipulated all my time so I was always with him or talking to him. He had always felt insecure when I was around other people, but when I was concerned about his relationship with his best girlfriend, he brushed me off. I didn’t even have anything against her; she’s one of my close friends, I never felt threatened by her. I was threatened by the way he always made everything seem more than it was. It wasn’t until I was reflecting back on what went wrong that I realized the extent of his control. 

The reason for the break up? He fell out of love with me because we never saw each other as much as the year before. Sounds like a legitament reason? It would be if we were in a long distance relationship. But we weren’t. Eleven months and three weeks I spent waiting for him to be done with cross country practice after school and FaceTiming him at night. All of my attention and devotion was for him. I did my best so that we had time for each other, but he had rarely did the same for me. Instead of finishing his homework early or chores, he played video games for hours on end as I finished up mine and waited for him to be done with whatever he was doing. 

Now, I look back on that experience with regret and acceptance. Of course in most relationships, people will regret something whether it be regretting giving so much time and devotion or having spent a lot of money on their significant other. I regret giving him so much of my time, my love, my everything, that I didn’t realize sooner that he wasn’t as serious as I was about our relationship. However, I’ve accepted it. I’ve accepted that I had to get my heart broken for me to realize that giving so much of myself and not getting the same amount back, is not okay. I accepted that we weren’t meant to be. Maybe we might’ve been, but now we aren’t. 

Accepting that I can do so much better and finding someone who will love me how I want to be love, helped me move on from the heartbreak. This December reminds me that life goes on. A new year is coming where I will start a new chapter in my life. And I’m glad I’m going to spend it with you guys. 

That’s it for today! What have you learned from past relationships?